You’re
engaged. One-hundred-and-thirty-one likes and 21 Facebook comments
later, everyone has built you up to believe that you are about to embark
on the most magical, exciting time of your life. How did you get so
lucky? Man, people should be really jealous of you.
Cut to three months later.
You’re beginning to realize this process isn’t all its chalked up to
be. You start scrolling through your iPhone to find people you can vent
to. You are dealing with divorced parents and money issues, and somehow
the 131 people on Facebook have all disappeared. No one is answering…
which leads me to the first thing people are afraid to tell you about
getting married:
1. No one cares about your wedding as much as you do.
I know it’s harsh, but if you can wrap your head around this little
factoid from the beginning you will be better prepared for some letdowns
to come.
You are the only person who is constantly thinking about your
wedding. Everyone else has their own lives to worry about. They have
jobs, families, and work as well. So while the wedding is at the
forefront of your mind, it’s in the back of theirs.
Expect to be let down, for people to not call you back, or to not
show up when they say they will. If you go in with this mindset, the
letdowns won’t feel so major. You’ll realize it’s not you, it’s just the
nature of the beast. They have lives too. And you can’t fault them for
that — which leads me to…
2. Being a bride doesn’t give you the right to be a straight up biatch.
It’s like the world knows you are planning a wedding and really likes
to kick you when you’re down. It’s easy to take your aggravation out on
other people, but try not to.
It’s not just your day. It’s your fiancĂ©’s day too. And don’t forget
your parents, friends, and family who’ve shelled out a lot of cash to be
there and make this day possible.
So when you feel like you are about to snap, just picture a film crew
around you and smile on the outside and cuss on the inside.
3. When it comes to money, check yourself before you wreck yourself.
First and foremost, before you make any plans, take a long hard look
at the kind of person you are financially. Are you the type of person
who is okay with spending your savings of the past year on a party? Or
are you the type who will look back and wish you had put that money
toward a house?
Be honest with yourself. Don’t be influenced by what other people say
you should do or be pressured to have a wedding you don’t want to have.
Go to the courthouse and take a once-in-a-lifetime trip instead. Be
real and upfront with yourself from the beginning. You’ll be left
without a major bill, and most importantly, regrets.
This is crucial to your mental and financial well being, even if it is derived from a rap song.
4. Everyone else is eating on your tab, so you probably should, too.
I hate when I hear brides say, “Well I didn’t really drink that much
or have that much fun. I was too busy saying hello to everyone
throughout the night.”
This is the one night of your life where you are given a gift to
travel back in time and eat with all of your friends and family.
Basically it’s like going back to college, which is the greatest gift
one can ever give.
Take advantage of it. Be in the moment. Forget about the part where
the cake didn’t turn out right and the napkins were peach and not rose.
Have a drink. Let loose and have fun with your new husband. You guys set
the tone. If you guys are having a blast, then everyone else is sure to
have one as well. And lastly…
5. Don’t lose sight of what the whole shebang is about.
It’s easy to get caught up in the budgets, programs, and seating
charts. But don’t forget what it’s all about. You’ve found someone to
kick it with for the rest of your life. And that isn’t a simple feat.
Lots of people get caught up in the wedding, which lasts a day, and
not the marriage, which lasts a lifetime. Even though every other person
on Facebook is posting pictures of weddings and babies, don’t get
caught up in the hype. And most importantly, never settle. This isn’t
something to enter into lightly.
But if you think you’re ready to take the leap, then do it. Drink,
dance your a*s off, and pause for three seconds that night to just take
everything in. Time can stop if you let it.