Dating habits don’t start and end
with a date. Here are 12 common
toxic dating habits that most of us
indulge in, without really realizing it!
Dating isn’t just about going on a
date.
It’s everything that leads up to it too!
Most people often forget this little
detail when they are asking
themselves why they haven’t been on
a date in ages.
The fact is, the way you behave before
your date plays a huge part in
whether or not you will actually get
one.
Look at it this way, no one’s going to
ask you out if you growl at everyone
who walks past you.
So if you haven’t been on a date for a
while, then perhaps, it’s your toxic
dating habits that are keeping the
elusive dates away.
Now, of course, you’d never really do
anything intentionally that would
jeopardize your odds of a perfect
date.
But then again, most of your toxic
habits, to you will seem absolutely
normal.
Toxic dating habits that most people
think are normal.
As we grow up, we’re taught several
things about the dating world, and we
learn several other things by
watching our friends, the sitcoms and
the everyday world that revolves
around us. And as with relationship
rules and tips, we just assume that
everything that happens in the
movies is the right way to go about it
*because movies always seem to
have a happy ending, don’t they?
But as the years pass, some habits
get so deeply ingrained in our mind
that we just assume it’s the natural
way to go about it. Here are 12 toxic
dating habits that you may be
accustomed to, but the odds of these
habits letting you down is way higher
than the other way around!
#1 Focusing on the phone number
The situation is, you really like that
cutie sitting across from you in the
coffee shop, you want to get to know
them better, and you want to ask
them out on a date. So what’s you
game plan? You’re going to ask them
for their number, after all, they will
leave soon and you will have no other
way of getting in touch with them.
The problem is though, that even with
their number, you are not guaranteed
a date. If you just walk up to them
and ask them for their number, the
likelihood is that they may give it to
you, but most of the time, it will only
be because they didn’t want to cause
an awkward scene.
The solution is to not just jump into
asking them for their number. Try
talking to them first, ask how they
are, what they are reading or
something to that affect. Build a
connection with them, and then when
you do get their number and use it,
they will remember you and they will
want to talk to you.
#2 Don’t fix the date a week in
advance
The situation is that you have this
person’s phone number and you want
to arrange the date.
The problem is that you want to
arrange it straight away, a week in
advance. If you do that, there’s a
good chance that they might not turn
up or be too enthusiastic about the
date. It’s almost like you are
scheduling a meeting with them and
there is nothing romantic about that!
The solution is to arrange the date in
parts, across the week. Don’t lay it all
down at once, mention at first that
you would like to see them in person
soon. A day or two later, suggest a
day you’d like to meet them. And
then, on the day before the date, ask
them what time they’d like to meet
you, etc. By doing this, they are much
more likely to turn up to the date as
they have agreed to the last details
on the day before the date, rather than
a week before.
#3 You do not have just one type
The situation is that you think you
only have one type of person that you
are attracted to.
The problem is that while you make
an assumption like this one, you are
missing out on a whole dating pool of people who could be just perfect for you.
The solution is to date someone you
think may not be your type now and
then. Don’t focus on whether the date
may go well or not, it’s all about
getting out there and finding the right
fit for you. You might think that you
have a certain type, but obviously it
hasn’t been working for you so far,
otherwise you wouldn’t be single and
looking for the ‘right’ partner.
#4 Trying to impress will only end up
tiring you out
The situation is that you are going on
your date and you want to impress
your potential partner.
The problem is that while you are
trying to impress them, you are
revealing a different version of
yourself to your date. A good date is
all about finding out if you and the
person you’re meeting are a good fit.
And this won’t happen if you’re
pretending to be someone you’re not!
The solution is to not worry about
impressing your date. They want to
go out with you, and that’s the reason
they asked you out/accepted the
invitation. They are probably just as
worried about impressing you. So
seriously, just relax and be natural.
#5 Three’s a crowd but four is a
gathering
The situation is that you are going
out with your friends.
The problem is that if your group is
bigger than three, then the likelihood
is that no one will approach you,
because to someone who wants to
say hello, a group of four or more is
quite intimidating.
The solution is to go out in groups of
three. This is the perfect number that
won’t intimidate potential dates
while still having a good night out
with your friends.
#6 Accept that perfection isn’t a real
thing
The situation is that you have met
someone who is really nice, but they
don’t seem perfect, like the idea of the
ideal partner you have in mind.
The problem is the fact that they
don’t fit your idea of perfection, and
that stops you from giving them a
chance.
The solution is to stop thinking that
perfection is obtainable. You are not
perfect, they are not perfect but you
might end up working perfectly
together. So give them a chance.
After all, perfection is subjective, and
realistically speaking, all of us are
flawed in some manner or the other.
#7 Don’t drink like a fish on a date
The situation is that you are on a date
and you are getting a drink.
The problem is that drink can lead to
bad choices when it’s drunk in large
quantities and you might end up
doing something you later regret.
The solution is to take it steady. You
can have a drink, but don’t go silly on
them. Make sure the sensible side of
your brain can still think and act. By
limiting the alcohol you drink, you
won’t do anything you might later
regret.
#8 Manners are important
The situation is that you are on your
date.
The problem is that you forget to say
‘thank you’ when your date mate
pays for the meal or the movie
tickets.
The solution is to always be aware of
your manners and remember your P’s
and your Q’s, to say ‘thank you’ when
needed and to act like the lady or the
gentleman that you are. You don’t
need to bow and hold doors open, but
nicety has the word ‘nice’ in for a
reason.
#9 History shouldn’t be present
The situation is that you are on your
date and talking to your potential
partner.
The problem is that the topic has
turned to previous relationships, and
that’s always a walk on thin ice.
The solution is to change the topic
straight away *albeit discreetly*, the
last thing you want to do is talk
about your exes with a date. They
don’t want to hear about the people
before them, they want to hear about
you, so they can work out whether the
two of you are a good fit.
#10 You don’t need to play hard to
get
The situation is that you are talking
to someone who wants to ask you
out on a date.
The problem is that you think you
should play hard to get, so they don’t
think you’re needy or desperate.
The solution is to stop being so silly.
It has probably taken the person a lot
of courage to ask you out and every
minute that you are playing hard to
get, is a minute they fear rejection.
I’m not saying jump into bed with
them, what I am saying is to have a
little compassion.
#11 Family issues shouldn’t affect
you
The situation is that you are
interested in someone your family
might not see fit.
The problem is how to get around
your family without upsetting them.
The solution is to decide what is
most important, whether that’s
meeting this person and getting to
know them or how your family will
feel about it. If their preferences aren’t
your preferences, then you can’t let
them hold you back, no matter how
worried you are over what they might
think.
#12 So tell me about yourself
The situation is that you are talking
to your potential date about yourself.
The problem is that you don’t know
when to stop, and you tell them
everything you can and don’t give
them any room to talk.
The solution is to only tell one story
at a time, and then let them speak.
By doing this, both of you get a fair
chance to talk to each other. And
remember, you will get to know your
date better too, if only you let them
speak.
Fix your toxic dating habits
Toxic dating habits can often go
unnoticed by the person presenting
them, and they will often think
nothing of it because it is the norm for
them.
However, if you are wondering why
your dates haven’t been working in
your favour, perhaps you need to
ponder over this.
If you find yourself indulging in any of
these 12 toxic dating habits, perhaps,
you need to take a step back and
think about it. Sometimes, even the
smallest change can make a huge
difference!
We’re trying hard to create better
relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!
Did this feature help you better
yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life
too!
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